“Life is a series of natural and
spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality
be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu
― Lao Tzu
The scary thing is you do all this work and
you fail. Is it better to try and fail or not to try at all? We all know the
logical answer to that question, so why ask it? Sometimes your brain play’s
mind games with you, sometimes it put’s you off kilt and on tracks which you
never anticipated going down.
This is a tough blog to write, I’ve been struggling to put this month into words as it’s been a mixed bag of emotions…
The story of August …
For those who have followed the blog you’ll
know I put together a training plan to take me right trough until the
bouldering season and I was so psyched about putting it all together and seeing
the results. I’ve swapped some sessions to play on the woody board, now named “The
Crimp Shrine” which we are fortunate to have in the garage. This has been good
as it’s all about power and strength and it’s not a forgiving board, but it is
so much fun.
I’ve also been trying to do a lot more
finger boarding, something which I haven’t been able to do due to constant
finger injuries. I’ve always considered my finger strength to be my main
strength, give me something to crimp on, no matter how small and I will make it
work.
So it was time to try the one arm hangs….
I’ve said before that this is, by far, the
hardest thing in my training, it literally drops me! So much so that I can’t do
more than one session in 7 / 9 days and my fingers are totally gone during this
time. So I’ve been super disappointed that I haven’t been able to push this
part of the training more, I’ve probably only done 4-6 sessions of this since I
started, which means that doubt has crept in as to whether I will be ready to
do what I want to do this season.
I thought a great test would be to get on
this stunning line:
We had the perfect opportunity when we went
to visit a friend in the Peak and the wind was blowing! I’ve tried bit’s of
this before but was always unable to link the middle to end part. For those who
have tried it, I know the holds might look big, but with poor feet it’s
basically a sideways campus on your fingers… no better test of finger strength,
core and lock off strength.
I had an awesome couple of hours on it,
linking most of it, figuring out my beta and working it until I couldn’t
anymore. It’s a physical beast! It felt amazing to walk away knowing I had
improved significantly from the last session. So why was there something in the
back of my mind which was telling me I could have done more? So it begins…
My climbing partner’s weakness was always
his finger strength, if there was a dirty crimp, or a slot (he’s got large
hands) he was more than 9 times out of 10 unable to touch it. So Jerry’s Trav,
for him, was his “will never do” problem, so he was a bit reluctant to go. I
knew from the first time he stepped on it that day, he was going to do it. He
walked across it, didn’t look like an issue, and then he kept throwing laps on
it. Whilst I was so happy he had done something he never thought he would do, I
knew that the training he had done on his fingers was paying off – so the
thought that I knew I was having issues with my fingers hung heavy on my heart
and mind. It just kept building…
Then it was on to North
Wales for the Bank Holiday weekend, which has been planned,
against all the planning rules we have, way in advance…the plan was to get the
parents to look after the dogs and head to The Sheep Pen. I couldn’t have been
more excited. On any normal weekend, if we had seen the planned forecast, we
wouldn’t have gone, but I wasn’t planning on giving up a weekend up at the Pen
without the dogs, I’d never been before.
Well… this video shows the story of Bank
Holiday Weekend in North Wales:
Even watching that video, makes me
emotional. As you can tell the weather was less than ideal, but I expected
that. What I didn’t expect was for my fingers to totally die on me. After Pill
Box Wall I felt like I had done a route and had got so pumped that I couldn’t
feel my forearms. This feeling continued for many days after. Which made the
Sheep Pen a mental challenge, one which, and I don’t normally say this, I
failed at.
It wasn’t the weather, it wasn’t that I
didn’t get much done, it was the fact my forearms felt like lead and I couldn’t
even give the other problems a good go. For the first time ever, I wanted to
leave and forget the whole thing. Normally I’m quite positive and just being
out is a blessing. Something had changed and not for the better.
I spent the whole journey back silent, not
lost in my own thoughts but totally numb. I crashed and burned…
On the Monday I had planned to get up and
finger board and then do a session down the wall. Numbness turned to anger. I
wasn’t going to train angry, so I spent the time trying to figure out what the
heck had gone wrong.
Stress. I believe I had totally lost all
sense of reality, why I climb and who I was and was totally stressed. I should
have guessed as I’d not been sleeping well, was agitated, snappy and many of
the other thing associated with this silent killer.
The answer…let it all go. Forget about the
training and forget about the season. So I’ve changed my plan and decided to
climb more, whether it be at the wall or outside. Just climb, bring back the
fun, go try things, but the main thing I learnt from that weekend is about
warming up. I used to be able to jump on anything to warm up, not any more. So
I’ve decided to mix climbing with yoga. I’ve dabbled with yoga before but never
felt the need for it. With the stress and frustration I’ve felt this last month,
I’ve had the calling and yoga totally focuses my mind and chills me out – that is
a blessing. So I’m doing one day of climbing and one day of some yoga to help
me stay grounded. What ever will be will be. It’s not that I’ve given up – I just
need to go back to who I am and it’s not all about the training, it’s about
having fun and trying things, getting out of my comfort zone.
I guess The Arch Article – Finding Fun
& breaking Plateaus by Taking it easy has put into words what I couldn’t,
it’s worth a read.
Apologies if this blog is poor read, I’ve
written it a million times and tried to be more positive, however this month
has just been one of those times I’ve lost my natural flow – time to regroup.
On the plus side – the weather is cooling
down and I am very much looking forward to getting back outside, it’s been
somewhat lacking this year!
Happy Climbing <- Ironic!
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